Chris Brown Lightly Sentenced!

Singer Chris Brown faced the judge in Los Angeles Superior Court on Tuesday. Chris Brown does not know how lucky he is! The charge of making criminal threats was dropped; this carried felony charges and often requires jail time. Singer Rihanna was not present in court, but Chris Brown did admit to the felony assault. The judge issued an official order to the pair that they are to stay away from each other, and further, neither party is allowed to contact the other in any way.

Chris Brown’s sentence amounts to five years’ probation and six months of labor probation. The judge admonished Chris Brown harshly in court. She went on to tell the young singer that if he violated the terms of the sentencing in any way, he will be sent to jail in the state prison. His sentence will be served in Chris Brown’s home state of Virginia. 

As told by the judge his sentence does not include talking to others, the judge made it clear to Brown and his attorney Mark Geragos, that he is to serve physical labor not community service! Perhaps we will spy Chris Brown in an orange jumpsuit along the highway, or perhaps painting a public building?

I personally think that Chris Brown was lucky that this did not require jail time and that he was able to negotiate the lighter sentence. Chris Brown was falling into the cycle of domestic violence. A deadly cycle, that often all too well we know what the outcome will be. But what my long -term hope  that will come from this, is that  perhaps by catching him at the young age of twenty he will be able to get counseling to end the cycle of domestic violence. He can learn that it is a wonderful thing to be in love with someone who will not only care for you but honor and respect you.

Ending the cycle of abuse is important to all the young people coming up, in fact if he was smart at all-Brown will do a song or a whole album in honor of “what I just leanrned” about how abuse is not cool and then  donate this money to several of the large and small groups out there doing great work  to end that cycle.

Good luck Chris Brown and Rihanna I hope that we will never see the likes of you in court again!  Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a conversationalTone.

Mary Caliendo

Jasmine Fiore Identified by Breast Implant!

This past Thursday, model and personal trainer to be,  Jasmine Fiore was found dead in a suitcase in a trash container in Buena Park, CA. It has been widely reported that Ms. Fiore had been dismembered and also brutally mutilated so much so, that she had to be positively identified by her breast implant serial numbers!!

Her ex-husband Ryan Jenkins would be accused of this heinous act. Ryan Jenkins, a self-made millionaire who starred on the VH1 show “Megan Wants a Millionaire” was now missing. The real-estate investor and developer was now being charged with first degree murder. The search for him was on. While Ms. Fiore’s car was missing as well. The media and the Los Angeles Police launched a blitz to get the word out that they were looking for Ryan Jenkins in connection with this crime.

When this past Sunday night the manager of The Thunderbird Motel in British Columbia called the Canadian Mounted Police to report a dead man in their motel. They had found a man hanged from the bar of the coat rack by a belt.  The motel manager told police that a woman checked the pair into the motel while the man waited in a car (PT Cruiser w/Alberta Canada tags). The manager further explained that he did not recognize the man from TV as being Ryan Jenkins. The manager stated that this man looked tired and not that of  the man he had seen on TV. The police either know who the woman is that drove and checked Ryan Jenkins into the motel, or they have a good idea who she is. They are currently  looking to speak with that woman with whom they believe Ryan Jenkins had a known relationship with. They have not released weather or not she would be charged with a crime.

It was reported earlier that Ryan Jenkins has had domestic violence issues in the past. He had been charged with an assault on another woman he had previously dated. Clips of Ryan Jenkins performance on the VH1 show, show that he even makes a comment that he has a “bad-boy” side. It is too bad that VH1 could not have made a connection with the bad-boy person Ryan Jenkins had become. And if they had? What of it, would it have stopped this awful bloodshed? Highly unlikely. This self -confessed “bad-boy” was overlooked in many circles because he had money. And this money made the man and it appears that no one looked any further.

My thoughts go out to the family of Jasmine Fiore as they try desperately to digest all this awful information on the details of the crime that their loved-one had succumbed to. Also sadness to the parents of Ryan Jenkins as they could never ever have predicted that he would do something so awful and heinous!

Perhaps someday soon we can eliminate domestic violence so that the next woman will not have to be identified by the serial numbers of a breast implant!

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a conversationalTone.

Mary Caliendo

Peterson Being Arraigned Today

Drew Peterson and lawyer team led by Joel Brodsky, will come before the judge in a Will County, IL courtroom today to ask for a reduction in his bail. A simple poll was taken among watchers of local news today, and it was discovered that 90% of pollers wanted Peterson’s bail to remain high and not reduced! 

Over all this case will be confusing, as to constitutionality on the hearsay bill for one, but here in Illinois having the “get tough” attitude against domestic violence will help to make a ground breaking difference. Illinois has had a rash of domestic violence cases, that have ended in loss of life. The law makers as well as police have long had their “hands tied” at times and there is almost no way to “predict” an outcome as to the condition of the person/abusers state of mind. But efforts to change laws and make breakers of court orders for example to be held accountable, thus making it easier for the abuser to become incarcerated or to stay incarcerated. Plus with the hearsay law being admissible will aid in the prosecution of the offenders. Look at the changes in the laws for stalking that opponents said would never pass, but they did.

The cycle of abuse and death has to stop somewhere and here in Illinois, they’d like it to stop. Women sometimes need somewhere to turn, and when a women (sometimes men are abused,or same sex partners will also have abuse, but the majority are women with men as the abuser)calls out for help to police they need to be able to help her and her children. Women need to believe that they can get help. This can help women to even bring forward their case of abuse.

Many families have often said that the woman/and or children that have passed as a result of abuse, have said She told me she was scared that he was going to kill her, or if I turn up dead, it was him who did it! It’s deplorable and something needs to be done. Perhaps the hearsay bill will help in this case and into the future.

I will be following this case closely, and hopes for changes in the future to make it easier for the domestically abused to be able to have their abuser behind bars even before the threat of death has come, and for the families left behind after that has taken place to give them a platform to help convict and incarcerate that abuser.

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a conversationalTone.

Mary Caliendo

Lisa Stebic Still Gone

Another awful anniversary has past just yesterday, April 30, the disappearance of  a woman. We hear this thing too much of late, that another woman goes missing. Police suspect fowl play but have a cold trail. And in many of these cases the one and only “person of interest” is that of the womans’ husband. A vigil for Lisa Stebic was held on Thursday that marked the two year anniversary of her disappearance.

It is all too familiar that the evidence trail leads only back to the husband. In Lisa Stebic’s case the couple had begun the divorce proceedings and on the very day that she disappeared she had mailed off papers to her lawyer for the eviction of her husband. Eviction to me means that he did not want to go willingly. Further steps had to be taken in order to ask him to leave. It is shameful that we (everyone) can equate our lives into just simple things. It’s awful that we can marry someone, produce beautiful children with them, and then suddenly we don’t just dislike this partner- we hate them! It is shameful that adults cannot agree to move on, especially when both spouses want it to begin with.

Domestic abuse happens everyday, it has no racial boundries, it has no socioeconomic borders and it is everywhere. We need to somehow put a stop to this. We can join the national abuse groups, we can go on walks, and we can give money to the cause. But I say let us teach our children that sometimes when we grow up we may not love or even like that person we have married! Let’s teach them how to handle situations that involve our spouses. Teach them to love themselves and to ask to be treated that way, and to never get stuck in a situation that gets so heated that they will not be able to handle.

I personally could not attend the vigil for Ms Stebic, but I did say my personal prayers for her, for her children, and for her extended family and friends. I hope and pray that some evidence turns up to help find Lisa Stebic so that she could have her day of grace and then my pity goes out to whom ever had a hand in her demise. Your day will come and while you have spread the pain and hurt around for two years to others as well as her remember “do unto others” for you will get yours two-fold.

In Lisa Stebic’s case there is an award out there for  $75,000 for any information leading to her whereabouts. In the meantime, let us think of the purple butterfly and the heartfelt line that read “even though you are not with us anymore, you’re in our thoughts, in our memories, and in our hearts forever”. (this was printed on a sign that was posted at the vigil and then reported on in the Chicago Tribune by freelance writer Joseph Ruzich).

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a ConversationalTone.

Mary Caliendo

Robin Givens Speaksout on Domestic Violence

Today on the Oprah show; along with a couple of  self-professed domestic violence abusers, Oprah’s show was dedicated to finding out what it is that makes a man hit a woman and what it takes to change that type of behavior.

The men on the show described their abuse, and why they say  it happened.  The underlying theme running through it were the witnessing of abuse growing up. However, not all the abuse was the same. Some abuse was just verbal-type, but mostly it was physical altercation. The laying on of hands. The hands that professed love will also choke you; in one man’s case. They do overall feel that it is most likley learned behavior and that the cycle of abuse can be broken. They did say that they did have “anger-type” behavior while in several public places such as: road rage, cashiers and clerks for example. So perhaps the anger/rage goes hand in hand.

Robin Givens came on the show and is now one of the current spokeswomen for The National Domestic Violence Hot line. The hot line will serve all those who call in to seek council. Robin continued to say that she agrees with Oprah  that once a man hits you he will hit you again. All abuse is unacceptable. And she felt scared for the women that were married to guests on the show. As Robin stated that they have much work to do and she fears for them.

Kevin Powell was also on the show, a former abuser who had his temper witnessed on Big Brother, has changed his life around.  He is trying to get the word out that men need to have council ongoing not just a couple of sessions and be done with it. He thinks that the church is a great resource for deep worship but Powell feels that the abuser still need on going psych/council and truly own the fact that they had done what they had done.

Once again, it had to mentioned on the show that Chris Brown allegedly battered Rihanna. While Robin chimed in and said we saw the pictures, it doesn’t matter if she saw something on Brown’s Blackberry, no one at anytime should be hit. It is better to just walk away.

There are better and different ways to solve any problems.

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a conversationalTone.

Mary Caliendo

Oprah/Tyra Banks On Domestic Violence!

Oprah has Tyra Banks on the Oprah show talking about domestic violence. Tyra said that Rihanna grew up in a violent upbringing.  Tyra had interviewed Rihanna when her hit song “Under My Umbrella” broke. And Tyra also had a separate interview with Chris Brown long before Rihanna and Chris were an “item”. Chris Brown said that he watched domestic violence growing up on the Tyrashow. He was forthcoming and said that he would look at women much different than all that he had witnessed. He also said he witnessed this kind of behavior from the age of 7 until 13 years old.

Tyra said as she looked back at this interview that she did, she couldn’t believe that he was repeating this behavior. She did not want to believe it! Tyra and Oprah believe that this is a teaching moment. They both believe that Chris Brown and Rihanna have everything      they need at their disposal to proceed with getting the help that they will need.

Oprah told one young teen in the audience that the reason that she went back to him in her opinion is that Rihanna does not respect herself enough and went back to him because she does not think she is worthy enough of a man that won’t hit her! The teen in the audience thinks that it was self-defense and that it was okay that Chris Brown did this to her!!! It seems like teens think that it is okay for men to hit women-like she deserved it! Wow!

Tyra explained that she was in a relationship that was overtly abusive and it took a couple of times to leave, but that she finally faced herself in the mirror and asked herself  why she was in this relationship. She was trying to convey to the girls in the audience that abuse is abuse and that it will continue to escalate.

Oprah’s show listed the warning signs of the escalation of the abuse. Abusers will mask their intentions to rest of the outside world, and even turn on the charm in front of others, to effectively make the person that is being abused look like they are crazy in front of everyone. Abusers are manipulators.

Oprah highlighted a girl from Charlotte North Carolina who just last week was murdered by her boyfriend. And her girlfriends were on the show via skype or satellite. They expressed disappointment in Rihanna for going back to Chris Brown.  They also look at her as she is a role model. But Tyra chimed in and told the audience that she is just like any woman/girl anywhere. She is stuck in a cycle of abuse.

Tyra and Oprah are trying to get the word out that abuse of any form is not acceptable! Control, yelling, telling you what to do, making you dress a certain way, and even keep ing you away from your family are all forms of abuse not to mention these are also warning signs that you are with an abuser.

I say thank you Oprah, thank you Tyra for trying to change the thought process of these girls who think that it is okay to be abused! It is not acceptable in any form. I’m sure that all of those who have lost children to abuse/domestic violence are happy you have done this show. The overwhelming loss created by an abuser will change their lives forever.

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a conversationalTone.

Mary Caliendo

Oprah Speaks Out To Rihanna!

Oprah has my respect! I hope she has yours, because she is a well-rounded person with well-grounded thoughts!   She is after all human just like you and I. The only difference between Oprah and all of us (beside the money) is that she has a show. A show that she can speak out on.

And she has once again spoken out. I am glad she has, when most people are whispering or writing stories on rumors Oprah has said what was on her mind. She dedicated a few minutes talking directly to her audience and Rihanna. She told her crowd and all of the TV viewers that quite simply:”Love does not hurt!” and to Rihanna “If he hit you once he will hit you again”!

This is a trail that most abusers walk. It is the path to I’m sorry I love you today and tonight or tomarrow I will kick your A$$! And then the abuser and those being abused will get into a cycle that will continue until one person gets hurt so bad that a hospital visit is necessary or death occurs! It is not a joke and it is okay to get out and leave. It is not okay to date someone who will bite you, choke you until you start to lose consciousness, or punch you. It is not okay to be raped even by a husband!

If you are in an abusive situation, please take the time to devise a plan of exit, and once that plan is in effect, please just leave do not look back. Life is better somewhere else! And listen to Oprah loud and clear, Love should not hurt you; if it is most likely you are being abused.

Oprah has stuck her neck out and has taken a stance. Rihanna I hope you were watching the show and if not I hope you will find it on the Internet, because Oprah has been there and she is sincere. Get out don’t come back. You are worth it.

Go to www.Oprah.com to hook up with more info.

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a conversationalTone.

Mary Caliendo

Chris Brown Charged With Felonies!

Chris Brown went to court on Thursday and although his appearance before the judge was brief, the charges may very well last this young singer his entire life. The Police have stated that this was a “brutal argument” against the young and beautiful singer Rihanna.

It appears that an aargument ensued after singer Rihanna intercepted a text message that was on Chris Brown’s phone from another woman. The 19 year old singer remains free on bond that totaled $50,000. bail. His arraignment is postponed until April 6th. He was admonished by the court and told he is not to harass,harm, or threaten anyone. The court commission did not mention Rihanna by name  in the admonishment,nor was there a direct order or protection placed on him.

His charges were listed in an affidavit as follows: punching Rihanna, the biting of her ear, and choking her until she nearly lost consciousness. That is pretty tough stuff to beat. He did all of this within view of several bystanders on that street that evening. It is an assumption that the witnesses will and/or have given statements. The two also did not appear on the award show that each were presenting/performing.

Chris Brown brought his mother and several other family members who sat in the front row during the court appearance. He claimed in the past that his step dad beat his mother. And that as a child he witnessed that behavior against his mother. At this point the stepfather has denied that, and his mother had made no admissions to that fact.

This case is not just about Domestic Violence, it is also much about getting everything too much and too fast!  Barely out of childhood these two have everything and are acting like spoiled children, just on the major stage of life!  There is no word just rumors about how the two will continue to get along. Will they reconcile? Is she preggy with his baby? Another rumor. Weather Rihanna  will testify against Chris Brown is also just rumor; it is not known. And finally weather it is fact or not that the two were brought to hallowed ground by way of Sean P. Diddy Combs is also just a rumor.

When all the dust settles down and with all of these charges he could wind up in jail. It is a shame that with all that money and a very prosperous future that this young man did not seek the help that he needed if he needed it!

I’m not so sure about this but I do not think Diddy has a psych degree, but he sure could’ve provided these two with a nice one! Let’s hope Diddy played Daddy at the right time!

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a conversationalTone.

Mary Caliendo