I’m always reachable. I’m always around for anyone in my family,people I write for, and really anyone that needs me for anything. Are you like me? I’m off to an appointment where talking,and texting will not be permitted and you guessed it the minute I walked into the appointment, I received three messages. This last time it was a breaking point for me. I explicitly told everyone I’ll be gone for two hours and that I’d speak to them when I got home or near to my home where I’d field the calls.
In that moment I felt like throwing the phone against the wall. It appears also to me that everyone that surrounded me that day could not or would not even try to solve their problem or dilemma. I felt more like a personal secretary or some concierge booking times and appointments that the callers could’ve done themselves. In fact, I cannot think of the last time I actually called someone else to do something I could do myself. I was maddened so I refused to answer any of the calls nor respond to the texts.
Instead when I arrived home I said nothing to anyone, I made no attempt to respond to colleagues and I knew I had to change this. I felt drained.
I realize that I have set myself up for this, I am everyone’s go-to person, the person who can figure out things, and mostly the person that won’t say no. My dearest girlfriend told me I am a people pleaser. She told me to stop before I drive myself sick trying to do everything for everyone.
When did I become a people pleaser? Who knows, life morphs into what it is. So the other day I went shopping, but before I did I told everyone where I was going and what I was doing. I made certain there was absolutely nothing pressing at all to do; off I went.
I turned my phone off in the car. I then put my phone into the glove box and locked it up. I pulled into a drive thru and bought an overly delicious high priced coffee and a sweet. I sat in the parking lot as the sun shined into my window and enjoyed the silence. I went browsing into the mall. Just aimlessly walking, and looking. Here I bought a piece of chocolate and sat down and watched people walk by. I observed just about everybody with a phone in hand or on their ear. I am not kidding, young teens, and old folk alike! Ridiculous.
The more we connect, the less we connect in a seriously human way. I know you’re probably reading this on a phone too, right? Anyway, I went off the grid and it felt nice. Not a soul could contact me in any way, shape or form. And I was glad about that.
When I returned, I did get a bunch of where were you’s, and I was worried about you things,and I liked it. I had many hours of sheer silence and since that day, I regularly turn off my phone and disappear back into a comfortable numb just trying to please myself.
*Just my thoughts, Just my opinion, and always in a Conversationaltone!