Tag Archives: essay

Of Faces and Places In the Heart

My favorite past time of all is people watching. I have always been intrigued by people and their facial reactions, how they walk and talk and carry themselves.  I simply enjoy watching people.

Everyone, I mean everyone, has attributes that are lovely.  I find them. Sometimes, it’s their beautiful hair, their smile, it may be their whole package; how they are wrapped before us, the world, as they pass by us in a single millisecond of time.

There are times and places that we find along our travels where things rest peacefully in our hearts, simply waiting for that someday when they’ll jump right out of our chests and into the world for all to see. To be then on the witnessing end firsthand is to be graced by something I think very special.

Here then standing at an arrival gate in an international airport, I find such special things. Here, people watchers such as myself, rejoice. So much to see, there are so many lives walking by intersecting, touching, not physically; perhaps metaphysically. There are so many differences that they become the same or similar and at least commonalities.

Here, right here in this airport are many hearts slowly leaking, seeping, jumping and leaping out of their chests! We are unlike faces, we are unlike languages but we are alike in smiles and heartfelt touches of humanity.

Hearts that are seen leaping happen in the recognition of one’s family, distant relatives, and long -time friends. Each person filing off flights with hugs awaiting them burst as happiness fills their faces. It is uncanny how suddenly all of those unlike faces become more alike than ever and how this is so immediate. Eyes finding eyes and smiles finding smiles, filling full the faces of the tired and weary, the young and tiny, the ensconced elder in the wheelchair, the saddened, even if just briefly, smiling with their hearts leaping!

Some will receive balloons, flowers, and hugs. There are the lovelorn whose hugs are tight and lips are locked, with tears of joy leaping with their hearts. Those full-kisses have the power of missed weeks, months or even years to be immediately wiped away with new lives started or restarted and love rekindled or just started.

Let it be known, that in this place I stand, all those attributes we all have that I have witnessed firsthand, that they meld into each other and that the lovely I found before still exists only now as my own daughter comes out the arrival door and we see each other’s eyes, I can only hope that someone just witnessed a millisecond of my life as my heart leaps from my chest!

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a ConversationalTone!

Road Trippin…..

Road Trippin

 

There’s the rumble of the tires on the asphalt road, the wind blowing across the car with deafening sound and sweaty hair stuck to faces, as kids in the back seat ask, “When are we going to get there?”

There’s a stop for gas and a Polaroid camera, the station with a general store attached to it has salt water taffy and I am happy; all the flavors are my favorites! The man came out and began to fill my dad’s car up with gas and he washed the bugs off the windshield too! He and my dad chatted as the man pointed here and there as they were both looking at the atlas.

My mom sprayed her hair with hairspray and went back to reading her romance paperback. I don’t know why she keeps doing that we’re all choking back here! Also my mother thinks we can’t read too, it’s a book about kissing I am sure of it!

My brothers argue and wrestle, but me, I just peered out into the sky above me. I’m watching the clouds; they somehow look different out here. I suppose being out in the middle of nowhere means there just might be a little more sky!

I see there is way more room to play, but it doesn’t look like there are any kids around, just miles of corn and behind that  miles more of corn!  By the time my dad has gotten back into the car, I have already spotted an entire zoo worth of animals in those clouds, and I can even swear I see my grandmother’s face there too!

Time to go back onto the humming road now and count the thwamps and rumbles on the different pavements and undoubtedly I will fall fast asleep and miss the Native Americans on the plains that I think I might see.  I will also miss the license plate game my mom will play or 50 guesses question game, but who cares I’ll have my dreams of being a prairie girl like in my story books.

I’ll dream of what could be in the next town and the town after that!  And from this day on I will always have a sense of wonder, of what that next town will bring, more flavors of taffy pulled; I hope, or maybe just maybe, how many more miles of unfound zoo animals or grandmothers faces will be in the sky above me.

Cancer….You Suck

….You rear your ugly head……like a monster you destroy everything in your path…….

Cancer you suck!!

 

I delve into the age old question, why?  I’m sure that each one of you has known someone or has been personally touched by cancer in some way. It hurts. And again, it has touched me up close and personal; with one of my family members currently going through it. As I sit here in the cancer center looking around thinking of each person I say a small good vibes prayer.

I see that each of them is at different stages of life as well as different stages of cancer. It hurts. I see the people who are expressionless sitting next to their loved one and friend accompanying them for support and love. I see the end of the line and now I can recognize the beginning so easily.

I also see spirit, and in the eyes of so so many I see hope~ I wish I had some type of superpower because this would be it; the ability to eradicate cancer, all of them in one quick scoop! The sheer suffering and pain of each of them fills the air, one can feel it. The beeps of the machines when the I.V. drip is done, keeps my mind from drifting too far, as I imagine that each one sitting here in this center, is floating on a crystal blue surf at a tropical white sandy beach, where each of them is being served the tastiest foods and drinks all while feeling never a pain. Is this too much to ask?

Cancer is a surreal thing just as dreams are. The treatments follow a protocol, that’s simple enough but people are as different as their disease is too. You’re a creepy monster cancer and I dislike you so much. I see now why you are so hard to cure. If it has to be, then why can’t you just be quick? Spare them, spare us~

Take care each of us, live today and laugh, be happy. Share if you can goodwill to another, for tomorrow is not guaranteed~

A Little Bit of Something

So much to bitch about and there’s so little time!

The holiday’s are coming, so I’m sure my ire will be elevated, and I’ll be willing to bet that yours will be too!  After all, it’s time to hit the stores to buy food,(and booze) and presents and more food and way more (booze) (notice how I’m trying to whisper in parenthesis?) Anyway, a certain amount of the bah hum bugs happens because there are people out and about that barely ever come out of their houses to do much of anything, let alone to shop for kids presents or food for a family gathering. That means the couch potato has left its nest, and that could be an ugly thing.

So once you step over the door threshold and step into a midnight sale or a holiday deep discount two for one thingy, remember shopping basket road rage is a definite thing! And if you can get a jolly at all~  remember there’s actually  people out with their morning jammies and slippers on! This is great for a laugh or ten, or perhaps an istagram post or two. Have fun shopping and hanging out, but mostly remember the looks on their faces knowing you tirelessly shopped, picked out and tailored a gift for them!!

Haha to be continued….

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a Conversationaltone.

Identity

My thoughts on identity.

Identity, it’s a source of self. Identity defined is simply being who or what a person or a thing is.

But wait, it is also a close similarity or affinity to something. So much lately has been in the news about

one’s self and our human attachment to an identity. I’m guessing people have been thinking way

outside the box!

Sense of self is important to us; it is where we find our personal security. It is for our sense of comfort.

Lately though, the extreme examples of finding one’s identity have been exhibited for all to see. Human

beings are creatures that crave identities because I think that people gravitate toward each other in

seeking out themselves. This is why we have clubs, support groups, and otherwise genres of t.v.

programming.

For example, taking reality t.v. into account and the types of people who watch them are perhaps

as “on the edge” as those on the shows and somehow the viewer is striving to see themselves.  The

subject matter of changing genders or assigning a gender to ourselves is an interesting one. While there

are people out there somewhere whom are choosing to be this or that, there still are as many more

born to be someone or something else. These people time and again, say they knew for themselves

they were not the appropriate gender, or knew that somehow they were not comfortable in the role

they had been living Or that they sought out love from an undisclosed gender for

example.  Or still yet, that they find themselves somehow being a “misfit” of sorts.

Identity is also something that fits you like a personal glove:  be it your job, or your life course

and sometimes, as we very recently have witnessed the racial identity of a person. One can identify with

the life that one is living. With job loss there is an identity loss, perhaps due to circumstances we squash

all that we want to be for what we have to be. Now, these subject matters bring me to understanding

and the compassion part of it to this essay. I just say let live because although I may not like a

particular thing that is happening  to someone else, I cannot control it nor can I possibly imagine what

that person is feeling  or the freedom they get once expressing themselves~ I just can’t “identify” with

it!!

Identity is where we call ourselves comfortably home and the loss of it, or the real discovery of it may be

exactly what one needs to think way out of the box on this one~

 

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, and always in a Conversationaltone!

Just Dreaming…..

Just Dreaming……..
I was asked by a child of five the other day, “What is a dream?” And “Do dreams come true?”

So as I answered the questions in the terms I thought he’d understand; then it spurred my
thinking……
Dreams, when did I stop dreaming them? Am I just not remembering them or do I just never
have them? Great questions I posed to myself and now to you.

I love this…”Don’t you find it odd, he continued “that when you’re a kid, everyone all the world,
encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you’re older, somehow they act offended if
you even try.” Ethan Hawke~

Dreams in the most technical way are a simple series of thoughts, images and sensations
occurring in a person’s mind during sleep. No, that’s not exactly what I told the toddler, nor did I
tell them that sometimes those dreams are not all cotton candy and fairy tales. Sometimes dreams
can be dark and awful. But I felt confident that the toddler had a full toddler’s grasp on what a
dream was when I was done talking to him. Getting back to technicalities and research, it is
thought that everyone dreams between 3 to 6 times each night and the dreams can last anywhere
from 5 to 20 minutes. And then here’s the most interesting part, 95% of those dreams you just
had last night are gone and forgotten the minute one gets up!
So I guess that’s where my dreams go, back recessed into my main frame’s hard drive to be
stored in some weird way like a brain CD filled with my dreams, or pop up one day like “this
happened before” kind of thing! Deja’vu. Then there’s the scary movie that I’ll watch and I’m
afraid of dreaming now, So shutting my eyes voluntarily is simply out of the question! You

know those nights where your eyes are heavy and you really are tired, but you better not shut
your eyes…..
just in case. You’ll stand guard, wiping your eyes many times because you think you just saw the
door move, and then it’s time to turn on the nightstand light! Maybe if I read a book or think
funny thoughts that little Chucky guy in the corner will go away!

“Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming
dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before”
~Edgar Allen Poe

So I’ll just go back to what Ethan Hawke said, and I’ll just follow my daydreams…
and when I win that lottery you guys will all be the first to know~

Just my thoughts, just my opinions, but always in a ConversationalTone.~